When we say “I’m fine”

Truth Be Told 

Truth Be Told is a song by Matthew West. 

I heard this song again earlier today and it keeps running through my head. I just think how many times do we say these words, “I'm fine, yeah I'm fine, oh I'm fine, hey I'm fine.”

But we are not fine... “fine“ is just the response, but not our true feelings. 

We say “fine“ because it is easier to say that then to say how we are really feeling. 

We say “fine” because we don’t want to open up. 

We say “fine” because we think others don’t want to hear our hurts, or maybe they just won’t care. So it is easier to just be fine. 

“Fine” is the cultural expectation. Here in the Midwest, we say, “I’m good.” Except, how many times is that really true? (My parents like to say no one is truly good (except God!). We are all sinners.)

We all have hurts. But we hide them because we feel like it is easier to keep things inside. It is easier to be independent. I can just handle it on my own. I’ll be fine, right?!?! 

If I have learned anything through Covid-19, it is that we need community. 

I used to think of myself as an extrovert or at least an ambivert. Or an extroverted introvert. (Sometimes, I’m not sure why we label ourselves!) But now, I realize I lean introverted (I loved being home for weeks on end!), but I also love my people and have missed having community with them. When I say “my people,” I mean the people God has placed in my life, my brothers and sisters in Christ, the people I do life with, the people who show Christ’s love to me. The people I feel I can respond to “how are you?” honestly. 

So am I fine? Are you fine? Maybe, maybe not. The only thing I really know is I have God. He is my strength. He is my everything. Yes, I fall apart. Yes, I struggle. Yes, I get angry, I cry, I laugh, I smile. And everything in between! Yes, I even say “I’m fine” or “I’m good” when really, I’m not...

But... I know I have a God who loves me...with all of my faults. I know He loves me in the midst of struggle. And ultimately, I know God wins. 

No matter what battle we are facing (Covid-19, relationships, work, etc...), God is here, right with us. He won’t leave us. We can cling to Him. He knows the outcome. 

So in the midst of so many changes and hard things, God is the one who does not change and will not leave us. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) And He will never leave us or forsake us. (Deuteronomy 31:8) We may feel weak, but in our weakness, we are made strong through Christ! (‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬)

Friend, if I ever ask you how you are doing, and you want to share, know I will listen and I will pray. I would never begin to say I have all the answers, or even any answers, but I am willing to hear you and pray for you. 

I’ll leave you with this verse:

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭12:9-10‬ ‭ESV

2020 - Resolutions

 Well, it is May and I am just realizing that I never posted this post and never even finished it for that matter! Here is how far I got with it...

I couldn't decide what to do about New Year's Resolutions this year. I really wanted to make some, but last year I seemed to not complete very many of them. I am the type of person who, if I make a goal, I want to complete it. I don't want to fail.

So I wrote down many things for this year...

But I think I need to scale it back a bit. If you read my post on my word for 2020, you will know our family has a lot going on in 2020.

I read a blog post from Money Saving Mom that inspired me to do monthly goals. So I think I will be trying some of those this year and breaking my goals down a bit.

At this point, it seems silly to go back and try to rehash what my goals are/were for the year. What I will say is God is working in my life. If you read my post about my word for the year, you will know it was peace. You will also know that peace is not the word I wanted. I wanted something like vision or focus. It is 2020 after all! But God gave me the word peace and I felt no option in it! And I am so thankful for, not only the word, but for the true sense of peace I have felt in the midst of all that is going on in the world.

As always, God knows best! Peace is just what I needed this year. I recently shared all of this with some friends and one of them said something along the lines of "God gave you a vision of peace for this year." I couldn't agree more. My focus for the year is peace. Peace in the midst of a pandemic. True peace that comes from God.

So this post that was supposed to be all about my goals and resolutions for the year is simply about peace, about looking for God and how He is still working, about going where He leads.

Yes, I still have goals, plans, and things I resolve to do. But right now, my plan, as it should always be, is to let God lead. To let this be my reset. To see what God's priorities are for my life.

Go in God's peace.

My prayer and hope in the midst of the pandemic

My prayer is that through all of this, we don’t lose relationships: lose our relationship with Christ and lose our relationships with our family and friends. 

Social media has become so divisive. People are unsure of truth and falsehoods. What are the facts? We question those closest to us about whether what they are doing, saying, and posting is the right thing. 

I, personally, have no idea what is fact and what is fiction (or conspiracies). I will freely admit that I probably lean towards some of the conspiracies. I have read so much and honestly, it is downright overwhelming at times. 

I believe personal conviction is important. I believe that God works in each one of our lives. I also believe that God’s Word is true and I can depend on His Word every. single. day. In the midst of lies and falsehoods and even in the uncertainty, I know I can lean on God and He will give me peace. He has, in fact, given me so much peace through this whole pandemic. 

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

When I think of the division that the pandemic and people’s reactions and government’s reactions are causing, that does bring some fear. I have no desire to lose relationships over this. My desire is to read and listen to both sides of the argument. And when it is overwhelming, turn it off. I don’t want to live in fear. 

“for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Let’s live in God’s power. Let’s show Jesus’ love to others. And let’s demonstrate self-control before we post or say something that may hurt someone else. 

I am not trying to be preachy or to hurt anyone in what I am writing. Instead, I hope to draw you back to God’s Word as your ultimate truth. In the midst of so much unknown, God is still here. He is still constant. He does not change. His character is always the same. 

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”

‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭13:8‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I don't have all the answers. I do not have even most of the answers. But I know God is in control. I know He knows all and has all the answers. I know He is not surprised by any of this.

My encouragement to you is to keep the faith, to not let all of what is happening in the world get you down. Remember, Jesus has already overcome.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” 

John 16:33

May you find your strength in God. May you find your hope in Him. Look to Him. Trust Him above all else. Love your neighbors, your friends, and your family.

Love Jesus.

I saw this posted on Facebook and it inspired a lot of these thoughts.

The Joy of Falling by Lindsay Harrel - Book Review

I am a huge fan of Lindsay Harrel’s books! I have loved each one. She writes with such depth. When I began reading this one, I wasn’t sure about the storyline. I am not a runner and don’t enjoy that sport at all, so I wasn’t sure how I could relate to the characters. But it was an interesting perspective as I have many friends who like to run and I could look at it from their point of view. Also, as much as the story is about an ultra-marathon, it is also not. It is about the journey. And about finding joy in that journey. 

The joy in the midst of grief. The joy in the happiness. Harrel does an excellent job of weaving this story together. As always, I enjoy how deep and real her stories are. And of course, it is such a fun setting! I now have a new place I want to travel to! 

So to end, I want to encourage you to read this story and let it touch your heart! There are so inspiring quotes throughout this book and many I will take with me. I hope you will enjoy this adventure and that you will leave understanding more about what joy really is. 

(I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author/publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are mine alone.)

Peace and Gratitude during a Pandemic

This article  is fascinating to me. I am so thankful for the peace God has given me during this time. I didn’t understand at the beginning of the year why my word of the year was supposed to be peace. I wanted it to be “vision” or something more exciting! But as it always seems, I don’t pick my word. Instead, God gives me the word. So my word this year is peace and it is because I needed peace.

Maybe you have seen this article on social media already, but if not, take a few minutes to read it. 

A couple quotes from the article:

“Being afraid is literally making you even more susceptible to getting sick.”

“How to Powerfully Boost Your Immune System”

“Practice the act of shifting your focus to things you are grateful for.”

God is teaching me to be grateful and how an attitude of gratitude helps to take the anxiety and stress away. This faith journey is life-long. I’m thankful for the lessons I’ve learned (even though some have been hard) and I’m thankful for the people God has placed in my life (I miss seeing them regularly).

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 

My encouragement to you is to find ways to give thanks. Write it in a notebook. Post it randomly on social media. Call a friend and tell them you are grateful for them. Tell whoever you are at home with what you are grateful for. Thank God for the blessings He has given you.

It is amazing how thanksgiving flows once you start.

So go start! I’ll start for you.

God, I thank you for...

Living in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic

Living in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic

 March 21, 2020

 If social distancing has taught me anything, it is that social media has not connected us as much as we have thought. We have said in the past few years that social media connects us more with people (which is true to an extent), yet we are lacking true connection, deep connection, face-to-face connection. Social media provides us with a method to communicate, but doesn’t make communication and connection happen.

Now that we are forced to be a part from each other, we are becoming more creative with how to connect better and use those methods to connect.

For example, before we had family friends that we typically got together with each week (in person) and talked on the phone with during the week, now we FaceTime (almost daily).

Before the “seeing” didn’t matter, now being able to see them (even through a screen) is huge. 

Before we were seeing nieces and nephews occasionally in person, now we are making time to FaceTime.

Before I was just posting whatever struck my fancy on social media, now I’m trying to share positive posts and every day life.

I am struck by the before and after. Before there was a possibility of COVID-19 and now after it has hit our country. Each day of the past week or so, our lives have changed and yet it also feels like it happened overnight. And now it is figuring out how to live in this new world. How to make time for the people in your life.

This is a defining moment in our history. We have an opportunity to live it to the fullest, to share our hope, and to give God the glory, or we can let this moment pass, live in fear, and just keep plugging away on our own.

If this is going to be the point we look back to in our lives, then let’s remember it well. Let’s remember it by making a difference in people’s lives. Let’s remember it by sharing Jesus and the hope He brings. Let’s remember it by actually writing it down.

I’m not sure how many people still journal in this day and age, but now is as good a time as any to start. I personally use a bullet journal every day. Some days have a lot more info than others. Some days are just to-do lists. But bullet journaling is one way you can chronicle these times. There are multiple apps you can use such as Day One. Or you can simply pick up a notebook or open a document on your computer, and just start writing. Start recording.

My current bullet journal

This past week, I decided to start a separate “I’m thankful” journal. I’ve been wanting to do this since January 1, but haven’t made it a priority (I did use an app for part of January to record my thanksgiving). I saw on Instagram that someone was using a 5 year journal for their thankful journal. I love this idea. So I decided I would just make my own, with the month and day at top and the year in front of each entry. As I go through the years, I think it will be really cool to see what I was thankful for on the same day the year(s) before.

My thankful journal

I have started this practice by simply writing a couple things down before I go to bed. I literally have been putting the notebook on my pillow when I leave my bed in the morning so I have to move it before I go to bed, making it so I write in it!

Lastly, while you may or may not have more time on your hands, take some time to reflect. Take some time to look at what is really important in your life.

Make time for the people in your house. Get off social media for awhile. Go for a walk (my puppy has really been enjoying that). Play a game with your family. Try something new. Read your Bible. Sing a praise song. Write down what you are thankful for. FaceTime a friend (or use Google Hangouts or Zoom or...). Or pick up your phone and just call someone. Send a text.

We aren’t going to remember all the specific things we did during these strange and different times, but we are going to remember who cared, who was there for us, and how we reached out to those around us.

Remember, in this moment that may define us, shine the light for Jesus. Write down how He is working in your life and around you. Give thanks. And connect with people. God is with us, we need only to rely on Him for our strength, our peace, and our hope.

My new mug that features my word of the year: peace

Book Review - She Walks in Majesty by MaryLu Tyndall

She Walks in Majesty by MaryLu Tyndall

She Walks in Majesty is the third story in MaryLu Tyndall’s Protector of the Spear series. This story is full of action, romance, and friendships. If you haven’t had a chance to read the first two in the series, I recommend you start with those first. The whole series takes you on a journey of growth and strength, challenges and joys. You will truly see good versus evil in this story. I love how in the end, the good always ends. 

This story has a lot happening in it and, as always, Tyndall does a great job weaving all the elements and writes a fast-paced story that is sure to keep you up late reading! 

The ending of this story was so good and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did!

(I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author/publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are mine alone.)

Book Review - A Mother’s Secret by Gabrielle Meyer

A Mother’s Secret by Gabrielle Meyer

I love the setting of A Mother’s Secret. It is set in an old historical mansion! As you begin the book, you will feel as if you, too, are entering this house. The contemporary story takes place in a small town in Minnesota on the banks of the Mississippi River. 

Out of all of Meyer’s books, this might be my favorite. It has so much heart in the story. The mother in the story feels so much connection to her family, her community, and this house. She will do just about anything to keep everything together.

I love the small town setting and family life that this story is all about and I think you will enjoy it, too!

 (I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author/publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are mine alone.)

Book Review - The Solid Grounds Coffee Company by Carla Laureano

The Solid Grounds Coffee Company by Carla Laureano

I was excited to read the third story in the Supper Club series by Carla Laureano! The Solid Grounds Coffee Company did not disappoint. I couldn’t wait to hear Ana’s story and it was a story I connected with. Ana is battling a lot in this story. Troubles with her job, family, friends, and relationships in general. I loved watching how this story developed and the redemption that happens. 

I also enjoyed the hero’s backstory. Bryan is also going through a lot and I love the journey you see him take and how both Ana and Bryan connect at the heart of the Solid Grounds Coffee Company. It is a sweet story of love, strength, and the journey of life that includes both ups and downs. 

This story can be read as a stand-alone or as part of the series. If you haven’t read the first two, I would also recommend them! It is a fun series of friendships, food, and journeys!

(I received a complimentary copy of this book from the author/publisher. I was not required to write a positive review. All opinions expressed are mine alone.)

2020 Word of the Year

It took me some time to come up with a Word for 2020. Usually, a word comes easily to me. Many times I know in December what my word will be. This year, I just couldn't figure it out. I had a couple different words, but I just wasn't sure. I really didn't feel like God was leading me to a specific theme for the year.

The words I had written down just didn't seem possible. Words like rest and peace and still and live, all sounded good and all sounded like things I wanted...I just wasn't sure how I would live them out.

When I looked towards 2020, all I could see was busy, full, committed...

In 2020, we have many commitments including politics, campaigning, helping with the local homeschool co-op (I am also teaching this semester), hosting a reader's retreat, VBS, graduations of close friends and family, a major election, work, family, to name just a few.

So how was I going to choose a word like peace or still? It really didn't seem possible or practical. It seemed like I would just be setting myself up for failure.

But I then felt God pointing me to the word "peace."

Could this really be the word for 2020? I didn't really want it to be. It seems too hard. (And besides "vision" would be a much cooler word for 2020!)

But yes, "peace" is my word for 2020. God made it quite clear to me. And in kind of a round about way.

I recently read this article from DaySpring called A Prayer for Peace. I would recommend you read it for yourself, but I really enjoyed this line from it, “God’s peace comes when we accept His amazing love and respect His mighty power, when we allow Him to direct our steps and soothe our broken hearts, when we acknowledge Him and sit with Him and turn to Him when the winds start to blow.”

Another part of the journey to peace was this challenge I was feeling to seek gratitude, to make an effort every day to be thankful. I heard a couple sermons and even a workshop that mentioned these verses from Philippians 4:4-9 (ESV):
⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. ⁵ Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; ⁶ do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
⁸ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ⁹ What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (highlighting is my own.)

Somehow I had never connected the "do not be anxious" with "prayer...and thanksgiving" and ultimately, with "the peace of God."

It was like all of a sudden I saw the big picture!

I had recently been reading about the Enneagram and I think I fall in the "6" category. It was bothering me because the downside of a "6" is worry or fear. (Probably the fact that it was "worrying" me confirms that I am a "6.") Anyway, I don't want to live in that place of worry, but in a place of peace. So this year, I am choosing "peace" because I don't want worry to be a part of my life. I want the worries of this world to fade away. I want my focus to be on Jesus. I want to always remember that He cares for me.

1 Peter 5:7
...casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Jesus is our Prince of peace and He offers us peace. He has overcome the world!

John 16:33
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

There are so many scriptures that talk about peace. So many reminders from God's Word about the peace He offers and the peace we can have as Christians. I pray that as you go into 2020, you, too, will find peace, true peace that comes from Jesus. 

-----------------

Over the next year, I hope to share some more scripture on peace. Stay tuned!

----------------

I will also be posting about my New Year's Resolutions.